Miss Manners: I made a framed cross-stitch for a friend, but she didn’t make the quilt she promised me

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am in my 50s, and I have an issue with my best friend of 35 years. We don’t live in the same state anymore, but we talk several times a week and try to visit every year.

We are both crafty people. Two years ago, I started making her a big, beautiful, counted cross-stitch, then had it custom-framed. The project took several months and she knew I was making it. I drove six hours each way to deliver my gift to her.

She offered (I didn’t ask) to make me a quilt out of T-shirts that I had collected over the years from places I had been. So I cut the logos/graphics off the shirts and mailed them to her. She said it would only take her about a week to make the quilt.

That was two years ago. My friend still has not made the quilt.

I have since moved even farther away, I miss home, and I really want that quilt! I have asked her about it several times. It would mean so much to me — especially now that I am over 1,000 miles away — but she just makes empty promises about finishing it. Meanwhile, she has found the time to make other crochet and cross-stitch items for her extended family and to remodel her kitchen.

So now, she has these T-shirt pieces that I cannot replace, and I still have no quilt. I’m very hurt about the whole thing, and I would like to ask her to send the pieces back to me. At least that way, I could hire someone to make me a quilt out of them.

Am I being unreasonable? Should I ask her to send the pieces back to me if she doesn’t plan to make my quilt?

GENTLE READER: “Ever since you mentioned that quilt, I have dreamt of having it, with all of those priceless memories, on my wall. But I know how busy you are, so if you wouldn’t mind returning the T-shirts, I think I’ll take a stab at doing it myself.”

And then Miss Manners suggests you send an oversized self-addressed stamped envelope so that your friend has no excuse — and so that you do not need to travel another 1,000 miles.

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MORE FROM MISS MANNERS:

Miss Manners: Can we settle the argument on whether it’s okay to wear white after Labor Day?

Miss Manners: The tone of a refusal might determine whether another invitation should be extended

Miss Manners: The tone of a refusal might determine whether another invitation should be extended

Miss Manners: I do not force my children to say ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ as long as their tone is kind

Miss Manners: I have a common name that counsel to my company repeatedly misspells and it’s annoying

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(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

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COPYRIGHT 2023 JUDITH MARTIN

DISTRIBUTED BY ANDREWS MCMEEL SYNDICATION

1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106; 816-581-7500

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